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Poetry
A spot to place poetry under.
Bound by insanity
Chained to the wall
with nothing beneath me
staring into the distance
lost it completly
childs wish
and insanity
pass before me
like a wovie screen
haunted by the past
afraid of the future
sick of the now
I hang helplessly
me feet on nothing but air
nothing but blackness surrounds me
despair has taken over me.
-Ariel Cambridge
-----------------------------------------------would you like to dance?
dance not with swirling feet
but in dazzling words
would you like to dance under the stars
not hidden by the clouds
but shining in our dreams...
------------------------------------------
Casey Kochmer : 2001
Response
Don't just feel the nightmake it yours
Don't just dance
dance crazy, the taste of love
buckling under the weight
of life
give me all your glee
groping under the stars
Don't just feel right
take what's yours
Don't just take chances
grab the love from above
fucking under the night
of life
give me all that's free
shining in our dreams...
-----------------------------------------
author: CrankyPants
Response
The second poem needs some polish. It starts with a nice idea. I like the idea of making the night part of your life. But the poem needs a second pass to tighen it up a bit in the word flow. anyone care to take a shot?
Latest page update: made by Anonymous, Sep 23 2006, 10:33 AM EDT
(about this update
About This Update
Edited anonymously
66 words added
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Edited anonymously
66 words added
1 word deleted
view changes
- complete history)
More Info: links to this page
| Started By | Thread Subject | Replies | Last Post | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| quietmonk | Haiku | 0 | Dec 20 2007, 10:44 PM EST by quietmonk | |
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Thread started: Dec 20 2007, 10:44 PM EST
Watch
hope is not enough to generate
a positive change you must employ a positive action Lenny Gazbowski(C)2007 |
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| Anonymous | I like the poem | 0 | Jun 14 2006, 3:36 PM EDT by Anonymous | |
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Thread started: Jun 14 2006, 3:36 PM EDT
Watch
Dancing+night+stars+dreams+clouds+swirling feet= very tranquil mental image
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